If you’ve read from the beginning…you’ll have read about my Mr. Big. A guy who with the words “Brooklyn, New York.” made me drop my phone into my lap followed by “This is the man I’m going to marry.”
So what happens when you’re plagued with the maturity curse…letting him go because you know he needs to grow. If the two of us stayed together it would be a crash and burn situation. So what happens? I have no idea, because up until today I’ve had no idea what I was feeling.
This break up hasn’t been messy. It hasn’t been depressing. It hasn’t been a relief. The only word to describe it as…is beautiful.
You know when you lose a loved one, and you’re flooded with these emotions. However after some time has passed, you could still cry over them everyday but your sadness isn’t pain. It’s this gorgeous love where your heart is so full of happiness that you had them in your life - even if it was for just a breath.
Well unable to come to this conclusion on my own, I went to a friend of mine. I talked. He listened.
"I dated this guy for 9 months. When we both met each other it was this "woah" moment because we both made lists and wouldn’t settle for someone who didn’t fit the list. So when we found each other - we were shocked. Never thought it would end. But before we knew it, it was done. We both agreed it’s not goodbye forever, but it’s just not the right time."
"Okay, wait a second…" he said. "I’m not hearing heartbreak, I’m hearing love."
That was it. The moment I could pin-point the emotion I’m feeling. I’m feeling so much love for this person. Not the kind of love you feel for a man. It’s the kind of love you feel for someone you truly love - a brother, a cousin, an aunt, your dad, your best friends. A love where you want nothing but the best for them, even if the best isn’t you at that exact moment.